It’s time for the Chicken Sandwich War to end

As the Chicken Sandwich War rages on, it may be time to ask yourself: Is all this chaos really worth it?

If you haven’t been following the Chicken Sandwich War taking over the fast food scene this year, it’s not too late to get filled in.

The short version? Every fast food chain wants its chicken sandwich to be the best chicken sandwich. And those who didn’t have a chicken sandwich on their menu before either already have one or are in the process of creating one.

It all began when Popeyes’ chicken sandwich became a sold-out, limited time success — so successful that they have since had to bring it back.

Riding on the success of this sandwich, restaurants specializing in all things chicken followed suit — Kentucky Fried Chicken, Buffalo Wild Wings, Chick-fil-A — and then others. McDonald’s seems to be the latest to launch their newest version of “chicken between buns.”

Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich used to be my go-to order when I ate out more often. I still make or order a chicken sandwich on the rare occasions I have the chance. I love chicken. I love sandwiches. I’m down with the concept.

So recently when I was on the road late at night and McDonald’s seemed to be my only hopeful source of sustenance, I ordered a Crispy Chicken Sandwich. I just needed something to fuel the rest of my drive. Nothing fancy.

I figured: It’s just a chicken sandwich — basic fried (“crispy”) chicken topped with lettuce, tomato, and mayo, protected by two halves of a simple bun. This is not complicated. So there is no possible way to ruin it. Right?

Wrong.

As much as I wanted to love it, I just couldn’t. There was too much bun, not enough chicken. Too much mayo, not enough lettuce. It didn’t crunch the way I had hoped it would. And when it was gone, I regretted the whole experience. I don’t know what I was expecting, but “something better” probably best sums it up.

Why are chicken sandwiches suddenly on everyone’s fast food wishlist? Look, I’m all for the less red meat movement, and if the chicken is sustainably prepared, even better. But here’s the problem: No one can, or will ever, agree on what a “perfect” chicken sandwich entails.

Some need it crispy. Others want it grilled. Some want it topped with more veggies, some none at all. Buttered bun, or dry? Extra mayo or none? How much chicken is too much? What is the appropriate bun size?

We all have different preferences, hopes, and needs. So unless a restaurant offers a “make your own chicken sandwich from scratch” order option, the Chicken Sandwich War may never end … because no one can ever win. Unless we all just give up?

The reality is that most of us could probably make a better chicken sandwich in our own kitchens with the right ingredients — but we don’t. It’s the “it always tastes better when someone else makes it” mentality. Is that the true driving force behind the craze?

Now that McDonald’s is officially out of the running for me, I will continue my quest to find a chicken sandwich I can personally get behind. But I’m not going to stand in an endless line or rush to a store every time another chain releases their version of “best.” Once I find the one that satisfies, I’m sticking with it for life.

I hope you, too, can find a chicken sandwich that suits your desires, eases your many woes, and gives you hope for tomorrow. May the sandwiches be ever in your favor. And good luck.

Are you over the chicken sandwich hype? Is there one chicken sandwich that has actually exceeded your expectations? Enlighten us.