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NHL teams as alcohol, raise a glass to this Twitter thread

By Wesley Coburn

PHILADELPHIA, PA - MARCH 10: Chris Wagner #14 of the Boston Bruins skates away from Nate Thompson #44 of the Philadelphia Flyers in the first period at Wells Fargo Center on March 10, 2020 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images)
PHILADELPHIA, PA - MARCH 10: Chris Wagner #14 of the Boston Bruins skates away from Nate Thompson #44 of the Philadelphia Flyers in the first period at Wells Fargo Center on March 10, 2020 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images) /
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A Twitter thread of NHL teams as alcohol went minorly viral on Sunday night.

Part of the fun of the sports off season, no matter the game, is coming up with interesting comparisons to keep the fanbase talking. (Our FanSided Network sister site Dog O’Day did that last summer with NHL teams as dog breeds.) On Twitter on Sunday night, a former Boston Bruins beat writer did just that as she ranked NHL teams as alcohol in a fan-focused look around the league based on recent performance.

Former Boston Herald sports reporter Marisa Ingemi, who has also written for espnW, started the thread with rating the New York Islanders as an IPA, because “everyone tells you they’re good…and they’re not.” The standings would disagree, as the Isles were in ninth place, just outside the playoffs, when the regular season was halted due to the coronavirus pandemic (they had 80 points and a 35-23-10 record through 68 games).

Another highlight of this list would be the Bruins’ fellow Original Six teams of the Montreal Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs. Montreal is described as rum and Coke, since it’s “a classic,” while the Leafs are White Claw because “you don’t want to admit they’re good.” (Boston and Toronto is one of the league’s biggest rivalries.)

The Calgary Flames were rated as Pabst Blue Ribbon beer because they’re “always an option, but you kind of forget sometimes.” Tucked away in Alberta, the Flames can be one of those anonymous teams, this is true – every league has those. Fellow Canadian prairie team Winnipeg also gets the same treatment as the Jets become Bud Light: “they’re fine,” Ingemi comments.

The reigning champ St Louis Blues are champagne, because “no one loves it but it means something good happened.” The second part of that statement is certainly true, as the Blues won the first Stanley Cup in team history in 2019.

The Buffalo Sabres woeful are simply a bucket of beer, on the principle that something is better than nothing, even if it isn’t fancy or very good.

This was a really fun idea to keep fanbases engaged as everyone waits to see if the 2019-20 NHL season can continue or has to conclude prematurely.

Next. Tim Hortons PSA tries to make youth hockey more fun. dark

For more on what’s happening in the hockey world, be sure to check out our sister site Puck Prose, which covers the league as a whole, or each of the 31 team-focused sites if more specifics are necessary.

How would you rank NHL teams as alcohol types? Or any of the major sports leagues, doesn’t have to be hockey.